RSS

Tag Archives: Gay

HIV – Am I over it?

Hey guys.

I’m sorry it’s been so long since I have posted…with work, a (now ex) partner and lots of other commitments, I simply haven’t had the time.

Updates are small, and some insignificant – but I have had a few emails to ask where I am and to let you guys know I am ok.

Work has been crazy since I joined full time as the centre manager – which means a LOT of work and long hours! I am enjoying it…just wish the pace would slow down a little!

I briefly got all loved up and him and I were happy for a few weeks before things started to fizzle out and I decided it was time to call it a day – ending entirely more pleasantly and quickly than my last breakup!

I am missing Brighton and my friends there like crazy and hoping that next year I can move back and move my work there!

I have started writing – this time not for a blog or magazines etc…but for a novel.

It is nice to write about a character, rather than myself for a change! I will of course let you know when it is finished and hope that I can realise my lost childhood ambition of publishing a book.

I have also been approached about sharing my own journey in a book form – but as yet, that is a decision I need a lot of time to think about – again I will keep you posted!

Now, this post is one I have been struggling to write for a while…but it’s things I need to say and to get off my chest. I am a little upset about it – but it brings about a positive change in me, and I hope you guys can understand.

It has been a long time since I have written on here. I know I have really neglected this side of my life recently. Not just online, but generally activism and even really discussing it.

Over the last few weeks I have started to realise that, for me, being positive just isn’t such a massive issue any more. I have just, kinda got used to it.

This time two years ago, I was in a relationship with a very sweet guy – but the relationship hit an iceberg when I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t tell his parents. I, then, was incredibly ashamed of my status – I felt like they had a right to know who their son was with….me. A guy living with HIV.

Fast forward two years, to my now recent ex. The fact his family didn’t know about my status, about my activism, about my blogging or Train The Change…didn’t bother me in the slightest.

I had finally seen what the first guy had meant by – they don’t need to know, it’s not essential.

Whether his parents, or indeed my recent ex’s parents found out and reacted badly – even then, for those guys it wasn’t an issue – it would be something the parents would have to come to terms, and deal with.

Going out clubbing and meeting guys this time last year – before they had even began to get to know me – I would jump right out and say ‘BY THE WAY, I’M POSITIVE!’

Whether it was my status or my blurting it out that contributed to the rejection I faced – I will never know.

Again, fast forward to now – When I go out, and speak to a guy I like, it’s just not relevant. I no longer fear they will see it as if I have somehow deceived them.

Long gone are the days where I loathe myself for the mistakes I made to get me here – and hardly ever do I get days I pity myself because of my status. Which, a lot of you will know – very different to two years ago.

It’s so hard to adjust to the thing that consumed my life completely for 18 months to suddenly become just another part of me…but, having said that, it’s an adjustment I am happy to make.

What the future holds for me as a blogger – I’m not sure. I will always fight against stigma…that will never change.

I no longer feel lost, confused, upset, angry or any of the other rollercoaster of emotions that made me start, and continue to write about my journey. I feel like I am at my destination….and it’s good to finally be home.

All my love, always

Jayce

xx

 
3 Comments

Posted by on August 20, 2014 in My Blog

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Crumbling

Hey everyone.

I hoped I wouldn’t be writing a post like this again, however, I have been ignoring it for weeks, and I have to let it all out!

Generally, things are ok, so why aren’t I?

I moved back to my parents house a few months ago, and I love my parents. It’s great being here, after years of being apart, some of that time we weren’t even talking…so I really enjoyed the closeness we had begun to have – no more so than that of my step-dad, to whom I never imagined I would have the bond I have now.

I started working with my mum with the Train The Change course – and she asked to become more involved with edUKate training – of which I am now the manager. That was a massive boost for me, and of course I was very grateful.

We had the launch that was great, and I have even been asked to get involved in even bigger things to do with HIV…it’s what I have been working towards for over a year…so why do I feel so down at the moment?!

One part of it I guess, was being torn away from the friends I had made in Brighton….with the exception of just a few, I have no friends here, and I miss the social life I had….and with every day that passes I yearn more and more for that – especially my closest friend Zoe, some days it actually hurts how much I miss her.

I spent all my spare time with my friends in Brighton, and had such a great time with them!

Here…I work…work…and work…. In my spare time, I still work, simply because there is nothing else to do.

I go to bed at night, alone…which is getting to me now more than ever….and I lie there in the dark and most nights cry because of the loneliness that has steadily gotten worse.

I has got to the point now, where work feels more like a lifeline to distract me from how I feel when I stop….and over the last few weeks, it has ripped away my motivation to do my work…not just to my best….I mean at all.

Things keep happening in my life that raise me up, and I feel like I can get out of bed in the morning…then they are either ripped away at the last minute, or just fizzle out…

I am trying to be upbeat about it….and I really am…things are essentially going better than have for me for a long time.

I just feel like day-to-day I’m going through the motions. I’m not doing anything I enjoy, not having a meaningful life outside of my work.

I have so many unresolved issues that seem to be cracking the surface of this new life I have….and these problems are starting to see daylight through the shattering of the façade that has been subconsciously put in place

I don’t for a second want to get in to the mental state I was last year – but something needs to happen, to change or to improve with me to prevent that….and I simply don’t know what it is….I don’t know how to help myself, which makes it even harder to ask others for help.

I’m feeling like I am failing with the Train The Change project – which has times where it feels like it’s about to have a huge snowball effect…then stops dead.

I have put everything I have in to that – and for it to fail…it’s killing me.

Being an activist has been the only thing that has given my life any meaning….and when things don’t go how I hope they will….it breaks my heart, and everything seems to be affected it.

I will do what I always do, and smile through it and be ‘strong’….or at least try!

Jayce x

 

 
4 Comments

Posted by on March 31, 2014 in My Blog

 

Tags: , , ,

2013 – That’s A Wrap!

So the end of another year?!

A what a year it has been!! I have had incredible highs, and some dark lows but all in all, 2013 has probably been the most symbolic year of my life.

It didn’t get off to a great start, I found out shortly after the clock stuck twelve that my boyfriend had cheated on me, and was preyed on by a man who saw HIV as a quick cash scheme!

He then turned out to also be my stalker, and that added to the already incredible strain I was under and directly caused a mental breakdown that saw me treated intensively by the amazing mental health and crisis team in Brighton, whom I owe an incredible amount a gratitude to.

After that my already rocky relationship broke down rapidly and I ended up in a city I thought I was alone in…it turned out I would quickly learn I had made friends that would become not just my closest, but my best friends.

Matt Gartan. What can I say…he is an incredible person. Already dealing with his own problems, which made mine seem trivial, was there at every turn. He helped me through my breakup and gave me the strength to try and make a life in Brighton…even the time I had my bags packed and my train ticket home bought!

He remained a close friend the whole time I was in Brighton and after being with him when he received the tragic passing of his father, I felt an incredible sense of closeness to him. 2013 had given me a best friend.

Then there is of course, and I could never forget my ‘wifey’ Zoe Waters.

Zoe is a person you simply cannot describe nor convey her incredible personality in words!

I wish everyone had Zoe in their life. She, in my darkest hours, made me smile, laugh and gave me hope in a world that seemed utterly hopeless.

Zoe is a woman that cannot help but see the good in people, when others simply can’t.

She has opened her life to people that others would have shunned, and of course, people have seen this as a weakness.

Now however, she is the strongest person I have ever encountered, god knows, she held us both up at times!

I am overjoyed that she is finally experiencing the happiness she deserves!

I loved, and always will love this woman with my whole heart, one that at times hurts because we are now so far apart.

I thank all of my new friends in Brighton…you all became my family for my time there, and you dysfunctional lot were a family I would choose again and again and again!

I also have to take chance to thank four men that continue to be a pillar of strength in my life.

Some of you will know them, and love him just as I do, Luke Buglass, Lee Render, Peter Gracey and Gareth. I love you all, and thank you with all of my heart…I couldn’t got here without your support.

I have now gone back to my hometown after a particularly unpleasant experience…one I am now very much behind!

I have a great job, I am closer with my family than I ever have been and I feel happy and content for the first time in years!

A great thing that happened this year, with the help of you amazing people was raising so much money for THT’s Walk For Life 2013!!

You guys raised an amazing £508.75, which will have already helped people with HIV living in poverty…a moment that in my whole life, I have never felt so much pride!

I hit a low in February when I was subjected to stigma at the hands of a member of staff at my local job centre.

An incident that you guys didn’t just support with on, you in force joined the fight!

My simple little life turned it to a media storm, all be it one I was keen to contain!

I fought for as long as I was mentally able, and I had to take a step back, but only after I was assured that the problem would be not only addressed, but changed!

The training issue would be changed!

An incredible high was receiving a Local Hero award, I think probably the first in my life!

I was nominated by a follower, and now a man I call friend Martin Brown.

After being left devastated by a HIV organisation changing their mind because they felt ‘uncomfortable’ about me hosting an event, it was exactly what I needed to spark a new wave of determination in me.

Of course, as usual, my past was splashed everywhere…a past that they know about because I am so open about it…and I don’t regret that, being open and honest is what makes me ‘Just Jayce’, isn’t it?

I let that bother me, as I have always done…

I don’t have a PR company protecting me, I don’t have a membership to the priory…I am just me…just Jayce…just a regular person.

It seems people forget when they write what they do that I am just a person sitting here…trying to help, make a difference…maybe even save a life…

2013 has taught me a lot about me, about my life…and about this blog.

It has taught me that I can’t, as much as I have tried, prevent people contracting HIV.

I can’t use my experiences to put people off not using protection.

But, what I can do, we can do and we HAVE done, is fight stigma…for me, the worst side affect with living with HIV.

I share with you briefly a comment that was made to me two weeks ago, with someone I least expected it from.

The person had been subjected to Stigma, it was whilst she was that I first met her in 2008.

This person was a pre-op transgender woman, who also, after appearing briefly on The Apprentice, received a gruelling ridicule by the press and by people in the street.

Two weeks ago she said, as I tried to hug her after some 4 years since last seeing her

“I can’t hug you, you know why. I can’t afford to get anything from you”

The ‘you know why’ was referring to my HIV status…by a women who had been subjected to such cruel stigmatisation herself, used such cruel worlds to me.

This time I wasn’t hurt or angry, as I had been at the DWP.

I felt even more determined about the project edUKate Training and I had teamed up with just before.

In my next blog post, I will tell you all about #TrainTheChange.

Sorry to cram all that waffling in to one post…but that was my 2013…totes emoshe!

Lots of Love

Jayce.

A special thank you to my #GayBro, who I know I don’t need to thank, but a man I truly love as a brother xxx

 
2 Comments

Posted by on December 29, 2013 in My Blog

 

Tags: , , , ,

The Dark Days Are Over!

Well December has certainly been a roller-coaster ride! 2013 has been in general a rough year…but December has turned out to be an incredible high!

It of course started with my returning to Brighton, and let’s not drag it up, but then having to swiftly leave again!

I felt I had hit a huge low point, now living somewhere new and honestly, was scared about what could happen, and about my now uncertain future!

I decided it was time to retreat to my hometown and take stock until after Christmas.

However, to my surprise, my luck suddenly changed!

I got a new job, that I absolutely love, I was around my family and started work on a new project!

Then as if a new job and home wasn’t enough…I met someone :)

We texted for a couple of weeks before our first date.

He was already aware of my status so ‘that conversation’ was short and sweet…something I was worried about once again…

I made him aware of my past, my mistakes in life and even told him that I, at times can be a handful!

Even after all of that, he still wanted to go on the first date!

I won’t pretend it went like a scene in a rom com because some of you will be aware it didn’t end in a lingering first kiss on the doorstep…rather me, drunk, being put in the back of a taxi after being sick…

I woke up not only with a hangover, but filled with dread that a had with every wretch, put him off!

I was very glad that he found the funny side of it all, and still wanted to go on date number 2 yesterday!

We met at Nandos – shared some friggin spicy chicken – I of course pretended like my mouth wasn’t on fire…and both sat there moaning about out hangovers…it was lovely :)

We spent the rest of the day and evening together, and ended up back at his cuddled up on the sofa watching a film…needless to say, I felt it went far better than the first date!

So new man, new job and preparing to launch #TrainTheChange – will tell you all more about that soon!!

I’m just so glad I finally have nice things to write about!!

I hope you all have a great Christmas!!

Loads of love

Jayce
xx

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on December 24, 2013 in My Blog

 

Tags: , , ,

Disclosure.

Hey everyone!

Sorry again that I haven’t posted, I have been so so busy, and haven’t really had time to sit down and let my mind rest!

However, something has come up again, and its something that really makes me angry!

The question of disclosure.

Now, I do completely understand that some people don’t want to be open about their being positive, and that’s fine, it’s their choice.

I have never hidden my status, and have found that it works for me.

In a recent conversation with a friend, I discovered he was on PEP.

He had had PROTECTED sex, but the condom had split, and only at this point did the guy reveal his HIV status.

My real issue with it is that in my opinion, and a very strong one at that, is that before they slept together, the guy who is positive should have told my friend.

My friend has even said he wouldn’t have rejected him, and it wouldn’t have changed anything, but at least he would have known the risk involved, if as it did, the rare chance of the condom splitting happened.

As a positive person, I am very much aware that I pose a risk to others, as my viral load is not undetectable, and even if it was, I would still disclose!

I feel obligated that with any sexual partner I have, I have to tell them.

I’m not by any means saying that I don’t believe that sero-different sexual relations should happen, because I’m not.

I just strongly believe that disclosure is important, so the negative person can make an informed choice.

Believe me, I know what rejection because of HIV feels like, but as crap as that feels, it’s something I believe has to be done.

I’m just so relieved that the guy told my friend immediately so that he could go and get PEP treatment and the guy is undetectable, so that my friend has a incredibly small chance of contracting the HIV virus.

Sorry about the rant, just had to get it out!

Just Jayce
x

 
3 Comments

Posted by on June 28, 2013 in My Blog

 

Tags: , ,

Back In The Fast Lane!

Hi everyone!

Sorry I haven’t blogged in a while! I have been a busy bee!

Apart from deciding how I will show my wild side for the THT walk for life, I have been somewhat pouring my energy in to restarting my career!

It has been almost a year now since I turned my back on it, and as I have said, my being so open about being positive scared some clients off. Oh the joys of uneducated judgements!

However!

I also think I was hyper sensitive about it (I’m somewhat of a drama queen at the best of times), and I let a handful of people get to me.

Well, that is now behind me, and my career is returning to what it once was, as am I!

It seems to have come back with utter determination, and at times I feel like Frankenstein. Proud, if not just a little bit terrified, Father!

It has a website, marketing material, and I have even started production for my own product line!

The determination has come simply from you guys and this blog!

I took a step back and saw how ‘Just Jayce’ had propelled on to the ‘blogging scene’ and the popularity of it, and things like having the DWP training changed…and I thought…what if i put the same level of energy in to hairdressing…where will I be a year after that?!

So that’s what I have done!

It’s slow starting as I literally had zero client base in Brighton, simply because I literally know 3 people in Brighton, but word of my greatness will spread across the land (modest) and ill soon pick up!

I also recently had my birthday, 23, so I’m now officially ‘in-my-twenties’, but I’m slowly accepting that!

It was a great day, some of you may remember the not so great one I had last year, but lets not look back!

My boyfriend, who, isn’t the romantic thoughtful type, really shocked me and surpassed my expectations!

I did the usual womanly thing;
“Oh I don’t want anything babe, it’s only a birthday….”

Of course this literally translates as
“Surprise me and if it’s not what I want, you’re sleeping on the couch!”

But, no sofa was needed!

I have somewhat of an obsession with Humboldt penguins, and woke up to a penguin teddy, a feeding experience at a zoo, a year long adoption of a penguin, and some other penguin related things.

It’s not diamonds, and I’m glad of that! But the thought he put in to it, the absolute perfection behind the gifts…that’s magic!

He also got me some driving lessons, which as a mobile hairdresser, is an essential transition! ‘Pedestrian Hairdresser’ doesn’t have the same ring to it!

So that is what I have been up to!

Looking back at where I was 12 months ago, wow, I literally couldn’t be further from it!

I’m liking the fresh start that the last month has brought, and may it be the start to a more positive future!

Loads of Love

Just Jayce
xx

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 28, 2013 in My Blog

 

Tags: , , ,

My coming out Story

So today it is IDAHO, international day against homophobia, and I thought I would mark the day by telling you my ‘coming out story’.

I grew up in a very female household, there were 3 sisters, my mother, and my Brother Andrew, who suffers from a rare muscle disease.

Our dad had left when I was 5, so there was a real lack of masculine influence in my life, until my mums partner moved in when I was 12. (Completely discounting my previous step father)

So, football was never on, never anyone saying ‘coooorrr look at her!’

Instead as a young boy, I was asked to brush my sisters hair, the sister of which I blame my career choice on, three guesses for what it is!

I always used to get comments from my family, as, by my own admission I am a ‘jazz-hands’ gay!

I of course denied it. I had many girlfriends and at that time, completely believed I was straight.

Then one day, when I was 14, I had a very vivid dream in which I was having sex with one of my class mates…from our all boys school…

I woke up panicked and remember thinking
“Oh dear..I think I’m a gay!”

I didn’t mess around with the turmoil of not knowing what or who I was, and the next day approached a boy I knew was probably gay, the one from the dream.

Not going in to detail. But things happened, and at that point, I knew.

THAT for me is when the turmoil happened.

By this point i was living in a house with my mums partner, VERY manly man, AND my sisters boyfriend who was the kind of man you expected to hate gays.

I HAD to keep up the belief that I was straight, so I went and got me a girlfriend, one that everyone wanted, and one that was, and still is very pretty!

This went on until I was 16, and eventually came the time that I couldn’t keep lying to her, and that sex with her was not at all enjoyable. Not because of her, but because to me it just didn’t feel right.

I was 17. I had moved out and had my own little life, I’d become good friends with a girl at work, Kelly.

Kelly was a goth girl back then, and one of those people that is chilled out, laid back and very open minded.

In her I gained the confidence to come out for the first time!

I did it to her, her boyfriend and her friend Sabrina…

Sabrina made me get in wardrobe and quite literally ‘come out of the closet’.

That experience and how fine it was, gave me the confidence to tell my other friends.

At this point, everyone knew but my family.

I came out to my sister Katrina first. I always had a close bond with her, and I knew she wouldn’t judge, and she didn’t.

Then, in the middle of A&E in September 2007, I blurted it out to my Mum and my sister Gemma.

My mums response?
“Is that it? I’ve known since you were 2!!”

Gemma, a fan of Catherine Tate, turned to my mother, and in a Northern Irish accent said…

“Mummy, he’s a gay man now…”

WHAT A RELIEF!

None of them were remotely homophobic, but I had this fear that they would disown me or judge…but they never did, and I was left wondering why I hadn’t done it sooner!

The next one. The one I was scared about. My father.

Without talking about him too much. He was a BNP supporter, a skin head and part of the national front.

He had once regaled me with account of when he went out ‘kicking in Faggots’.

I was terrified, so I did it over the phone…drunk.

I blurted it out, and I can imagine it was very slurred!

The next day, when I was reminded by a friend that I had done it, I was horrified.

I sheepishly called him, and he told me it was ‘fine’ and that he didn’t care.

I believed him. I believed he was fine with it. I was wrong.

It must have eaten at him for years, because he didn’t disown me for it until years after!

When he realised I wasn’t going to be his carpenters apprentice and drink beer with him whilst screaming at the football…he realised that he would never have the son he wanted.

My brother god bless him was born with his disability, and could never be what my dad wanted, and then I had also been a disappointment to him.

Oh how tough that must have been for him….

So, all in all, it was a good experience, uneventful really!!

I do wish I had done it sooner, but very happy to have had the support from my family, the ones that matter!

Lots of Love

Jayce
xx

 
2 Comments

Posted by on May 17, 2013 in My Blog

 

Tags: , , ,

Fresh Start

Hello again!

So, I gave up blogging again, and the inevitability of my return was expected by some!

As you know, I have had a tough year, my diagnosis, a court battle, struggling with mental health, the stigma from the JobCentre advisor, and having to have a restraining order put against someone.

Alas; I want to put all of this behind me, I want to move on, move up and get on with my life!

This blog, and writing helped me a massive amount, and in it’s infancy it helped others too. The negativity I was experiencing was being poured in to my blog and it became the opposite of why I started it. I want to help people and have that warm gooey feeling inside when I know I have achieved it!

I have received some really encouraging messages and emails in the last few days, and one that has swayed my decision to return.

The story of someone that endured stigma, and for a long time, accepted it. Thankfully this person has shown incredible strength and stood up and said
“THIS IS NOT OKAY!”

This person has inspired me to find the strength I once had, and to look at myself and see that, like them, I allowed stigma to beat me.

This is me standing up and saying

IT’S NOT OKAY!

I also received an email from the Terrance Higgins Trust.

Without their campaigns and their invaluable resources to the HIV community. to the friends and families of people living with HIV, I don’t know what life with HIV would be like.

“The more people out there that are speaking openly about the condition, the more confidence it gives others in disclosing their status.”

THAT is the reason I do what I do, and the reason that I feel I HAVE to blog, and try my hardest to give others the strength you guys have given me!

So, JustJayce.com will be starting fresh, and I will be starting fresh.

I can’t say it will all be rainbows and roses, because living with HIV does have it’s dark days, and I don’t think pretending they don’t happen is realistic or helpful.

I can however, promise that I will do my best to bring my blog back to how it was, and to try my hardest to help anyone I can!

Lots of Love

Just Jayce
xx

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on May 14, 2013 in My Blog

 

Tags: , , ,

In The Huddle

Hey everyone!

Well it’s been quite a turbulent few months full of drama and spectacle hasn’t it?

I for one, am fed up with it, as you must be hearing it!

Well, today, I put to rest my hatred against a certain individual, and it’s time to move on from the extreme amount of negativity surrounding the issues!

On a hugely more positive note!

I want to talk about the ‘HIV community’.

It’s amazed me since being diagnosed that the community is almost a giant global family!

Thinking about it this week, I likened the community of HIV+ and negative people that support us, to Penguins…

Sounds strange I know…stay with me!

The emperor penguin starts the process of parenting and is completely dedicated to the egg that it has made.

It shelters it from the cold, from predators and often looks down to see that it is doing ok.

When that hatchling emerges from the egg, it becomes utterly dependant on the older penguins, and cannot survive without them.

The parent penguin will then guide the hatchling, and help the penguin how to walk, how to communicate and how to survive.

The thing I love about emperor penguins, and other penguin huddles, is that when a predator threatens the harm the huddle, in particular the babies, they close ranks.

They squeeze together, keeping the most vulnerable ones in the middle so they are completely protected.

Often a vulnerable chick will be left outside the huddle, but most times an elder penguin or the mother will risk themselves to retrieve it and bring it back to the safety to the huddle.

Still with me?

So how is this like the HIV community?

When people are newly diagnosed – the egg – they are at their most vulnerable, and are completely reliant on the warmth and help they need, and this often comes from people that have either been living with HIV or from people knowledgable about it – the parent penguin.

When the person emerges from the shock, they start to tell people, to confront it and are like the chick emerging, and they still need the support of others.

The HIV community offer words of advice and help to those newly diagnosed and they start to be able to cope on their own, and feel stronger and more confident everyday.

If anybody is attacked or abused within the HIV community, they do exactly as the penguins do.

They come together and they will do their best to protect the vulnerable ones, or the ones being attacked by a turkey vulture…

If they see someone left on their own to fight, they will help and try to protect them.

It’s a selfless community, many people left open to attack by others – whether it be stigma or just plain nastiness.

It’s a huge family that have surrounded me of late, and they have been warm, protective and lots of people have looked down to see I’m ok!

I love penguins, and I love being in the HIV community huddle!

Loads of Love

Just a Penguin
xx

20130413-161029.jpg

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on April 13, 2013 in My Blog, Support Not Stigma

 

Tags: , , ,

Frank Dark Revealed!

Hey everyone!

Yes, you read it right! This blog post tell you about ‘Frank Dark’, and let me tell you, this one is a shocker!

Sitting comfortably?
Then lets begin….Three months ago, I was sitting at home, I was feeling a bit down about things, and thought, I haven’t checked my YouTube inbox for a while, I’ll just make sure I haven’t missed anyone’s comments, they always cheer me up!

I had 7!

That warm gooey feeling VERY quickly subsided.

Instead of being greeted by support, I had received the most vile comments on every HIV related video on my account. All from the same name, Frank Dark.

I deleted them all, none more quickly than the one about my mother, who agreed to offer some words of advice to parents who have discovered their child is living with HIV in one of my videos.

I’d love to say that’s where it stopped.

Over the course of three months, it got worse, and more intense, all day every day, to the point that I was scared to leave the house, because he was implying he knew where I live. This random unknown person was terrorising me, and not knowing who was, and why they were doing it to me was scary.

He had even set up a fake Facebook profile, just to abuse me, and try to ruin the massive amount of work i put in to telling my story, in the hope it can offer some kind of teachings, or help to people that need it!
I have written two blog posts about this individual that detail more of what went on if you need to get a better picture of it.
Amongst my fear, and because I was able to filter the comments from public view, I pretended i found it funny, that it didn’t bother me, and still, ‘Frank’ kept at it.Laying in bed the other night, after 20 messages from him, I decided enough was enough. It was time to start dealing with it, and to contact the police.

That folks, is exactly what I did, after, i had found out who it was.Apologies I didn’t tell you before now, I had to keep it to myself until the police had dealt with him.

‘Frank’ had no idea that even as the police officer was sitting in my living room, I knew who was behind the messages that were coming through…

It gives me absolutely GREAT pleasure to know that, after 3 months of being scared, bullied and had my life destroyed by this person, I have rock solid evidence that it was him, and what the police are doing, is only the beginning of the demise of ‘Frank’s’ life as he knows it.

For those of you that don’t know who it is, is not an unknown random person to me. I know him all to well!

This person, an ‘inspiration’ to many for being the creator of a HIV project, a project created to eradicate Stigma and hatred towards people living with HIV!After a professional disagreement, I had to take this person to court, and I was soon contacted by some of the participants of the project to tell me of his utterly disgraceful behaviour towards some of the participants. The disagreements between him and I began when I started to question whether or not the project was simply a money making plan for him, and one that would propel his photography career.

It doesn’t stop there!

This person is also a recognised mental health professional, and THIS is the most interesting part.

On his website and on listings, it says that he specialises in helping people cope with;

Stress
Anxiety
Low self esteem
Emotional problems
and support living with HIV/AIDS.
That’s just the ones I felt I should highlight.The incredible amount of distress he has caused me, and most of which was hatred and targeting about my being HIV+, brought on my recent mental breakdown, one I am still battling and seeking help for.

I know, he has motive to hate me, I’d hate me after exposing what I did about him. However I am deeply concerned about what he is capable of. He is a trusted counsellor working with vulnerable people, and is deliberately making somebody’s mental health deteriorate.
If he has done this to me, I question whether he is, or has done this to anybody else?
I couldn’t continue to battle with it by myself, and it was clear he wouldn’t give up.
The police have taken evidence from me, and it’s solid evidence it is him. They have served him with a Police instruction notice. This orders him not to contact me, not to access my social media profiles or my website. Failure to adhere to this will result in him being taken to court on harassment charges, and I am assured by the Metropolitan police, that it’s a matter that will come with serious consequences.Its been a really upsetting time, and has at times been extremely difficult to cope with, to the point that i am having panic attacks when I’m alone. I am very glad that it is being dealt with, and hope that it is the last time i will ever have dealings with him.

A huge thank you to #JaycesArmy for getting me through the last few weeks, and now, perhaps he will finally understand that he cannot win, cannot act however he likes and will think twice before terrorising anyone else.
Much love, as alwaysJust Jayce
xx

 

****************

This post had to be edited and ‘Frank’s’ real name removed as he went to the police and attempted to have me arrested for exposing him to the public, claiming it was in fact now me harassing him.
Having known this person, I expected it fully, and a the call from the police was no surprise to me what so ever.

****************

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 11, 2013 in My Blog, Support Not Stigma

 

Tags: , , , ,

 
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 5,906 other followers

%d bloggers like this: